Thursday, 30 August 2012

Renovation Song

We've got damp. Fact.

Yes we did a full damp course, yes we added in air bricks, there is so much ventilation in this house you can literally feel the breeze blow through it (not sure that's a good thing?!) and yet the damp just keeps on coming back.

Hello, by the way, it's been a while and you must have missed me terribly. I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again.

I will now summarise the last few months in renovation world the only way I know how..... through the medium of rhyme.

The new rental squat became project number one
In a mad, dash, rush to get the work done
Walls were removed, ceilings were too
A kitchen re-built as was a loo

All outfits accompanied by a handy tape-measure
The Internet scoured, the trash of others became my treasure
We travelled the country in a large hired van
Nothing like removals to get the best out of a man (?!)

The finish was added - carpets, tables and seats
By the time it was done it looked rather neat
The search for tenants was set underway
Not so intrepid, we had them signed in 1 day

The homestead was littered, I'd perhaps been too keen?
Radiators, fridges, the odd washing machine
It's the new thing, I declared, scrap yard style chic
Every living room needs a washer with a leak

Spring became summer and the rain came with power
The garden thrived with rhubarb and passion flower
Touches were added to the original bowl of dust
When a heatwave descends, carpet's a must!

As time passes the house starts to wear
After the work we put in, God knows how it dare
But walls become marked and gutters they do leak
Skirting gets scuffed and doors, start to creak

Still, no need for despair, no time for fear
The team of Polish builders are here
Set to return with their special kind of charm
And remove any semblance of order and calm

And so we go on with phase number four

If miracles abound we might get a handle on the door
One thing you discover, through time spent, just living
Renovation really is, the gift that keeps on giving

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